Emotional Intelligence and You.

Emotional Intelligence

In my last post I shared my thoughts on Self-Awareness and ended with a brief introduction to Emotional Intelligence and how the combination of the two impact our lives.

I remember when I was deciding on my major in college. At the time, I was a special operations solider who planned on becoming a commissioned officer after graduation. I selected my areas of study based on what I predetermined my needs would be. This was heavily influenced by my enlisted service in the US Army Special Forces.  I decided on a major in Psychology and a minor in Biology. I knew I would need to understand my mind, my soldier’s minds, the enemies and displaced civilian’s minds, as well as their body language, cultures, customs and environments. My friends and family thought I was wasting my time and questioned why I didn’t get a business or accounting degree that could be used after my service time. Regardless, of the comments, I knew what I knew, and I knew what I didn’t know. I was pretty self-aware and wanted to try and improve myself and correct my deficiencies.

A Self-Aware person understands their strengths and weaknesses and how to use, supplement or improve them. An emotionally intelligent individual is highly conscious of his or her own emotional states such as negativity, frustration, sadness and has the ability to identify and manage.  They are particularly tuned in to the emotions others experience. This sensitivity to emotional signals from within and from the social environment could make one a better friend, parent, leader, or partner. Fortunately, these skills can be developed and refined.

 So, what is Emotional Intelligence or EQ? It refers to the ability to recognize and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Some psychologists disagree as to what constitutes true emotional intelligence, but it is generally considered to include at least three skills: emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and label one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and motivating or relaxing/calming other people.

There is currently no validated test or scale for emotional intelligence as there is for general intelligence (IQ), a fact that has led some critics to claim the concept is either vague or entirely invalid. Despite this criticism, however, emotional intelligence (or “emotional quotient,” as it’s sometimes known) has wide appeal among the general public, as well as in certain industries. In recent years, some employers have incorporated “emotional intelligence tests” into their application or interview processes. Their theory is that someone high in emotional intelligence would make a better leader or coworker. While some studies have found a link between emotional intelligence and job performance, others have shown no correlation, and the that lack of a scientifically valid scale makes it difficult to truly measure or predict someone’s emotional intelligence on the job.

Can one improve their EQ? Presently, I’m working on a project that involves brain mapping and the use of Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) , a noninvasive form of brain stimulation in which a changing magnetic field is used to cause electric current at a specific area of the brain through electromagnetic induction. Additional brain training techniques, physical and psychological dimensions and neuroplasticity (the ability of the brain to adapt and change) are being explored. The adage, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” doesn’t hold true with neuroplasticity. The brain is pliable at all ages, so we can continue to learn and create changes in our brains and nervous systems throughout our lifespan.

In order to see a correlation, you must understand what neuroplasticity is. Neuroplasticity refers to the physiological changes that take place in the brain as we interact with the environment. A negative experience doesn’t just affect the way that we feel in the moment, but literally restructures the alignment of neurons in the brain. For this reason, having a healthy environment during childhood and even into early adulthood is extremely important—the brain is still developing during this time. Our thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs about how the world works has a profound impact on each of our cognitive states. The belief that the world has no meaning often leads to a depressed or anxious mental state. Alternatively, seeing the physical world as a nurturing place can lead to a happy, well-adjusted mental state. During my military and intelligence training, I was taught to engage and utilize my mind to participate in the world and interact with people in diverse and evolving ways. I learned to compartmentalize good and bad events and stimuli while being able to draw on these memories and experiences as need to build teams, lead people, create strategies, generate diversions and execute plans and missions.

When studying emotional intelligence, we look at neuroplasticity from the standpoint of looking

 at a few different parts of the brain associated with emotional intelligence (EQ). For example,

 the area in charge of things like complex thought, decision making, and moderating social interactions, is in the most developed part of the brain and acts like the pilot of an airplane. It makes contact with air traffic control, instructs the crew, and solves any technical problems that arise. Another area of the brain helps with decision making and controls emotional reactions. It’s the primary structure that controls the fight or flight response. You can think of this area as the anxious passenger aboard the airplane who is afraid of flying. If he or she feels turbulence (i.e. senses a threat), panic might ensue.

Emotional intelligence depends largely on being able to determine which part of the brain is making the decisions. People who learn to understand when different areas of their brain has taken over can reflect on themselves. This allows other parts of the brain to regain control. They can also sense in their peers when certain areas of their brains are taking control. This ability can, in turn, lead to a deeper understanding of the feelings of others. When one understands the difference between decisions made by the pilot and the panicked passenger, they can practice building new neural connections through neuroplasticity. Additionally, when one understands where their thoughts are coming from and that they can change negative thought patterns, their thoughts will become and stay healthy and productive.

So how can emotional intelligence help in the workplace? Great employees properly motivated and trained to exhibit and promote emotional intelligence can make the workplace better through a few things:

Promote Teamwork – People with higher EQ communicate better with team members than those who are not in tune with their emotional intelligence.

Share ideas and be open to others’ ideas – They are less likely to dominate a situation and “take over” without considering and consulting the views of others first. This creates trust as the group works together.

Adjust easily to change and challenging situations – Employees with high EQ know how to handle unhappy customers, disgruntled co-workers, and irate managers.

Stay calm and positive during tough conversations – High EQ leaders show firmness and boundaries during a disagreement, conflicts, or disciplinary action while maintaining mutual respect and control.

Be more self-motivated – Employees with high EQ have a growth mindset and are naturally optimistic; they’re motivated by their inner ambition and drive to improve and achieve, take initiative, or act on opportunities.

I’m not a psychologist but I’ve been around the global block a time or two, led a few companies as a CEO, been in multiple combat zones and stressful environments and have a little advance instruction.  Psychology, personal development and brain training are my passion.  I hope this article made you think a little, inward and outward.

Lead With Action!

Joe